Monitoring the situation

Some months ago, when I was still employed by the Specious Sycophantic Crows Ltd, I had a private health check. As part of this check-up I was given an ECG which showed a borderline error.

Gvien our family history; dad had a massive stroke when at the age I am now (not scary in the slightest) and sister had a thrombosis in one eye, I was advised to get this ECG followed up.

To this end I recently had what's called a Tape test. This involves having a few electrodes stuck to oneself and a monitor attached to those. I had to wear this for 24 hours and then go back to have it removed.

I am just back from the hospital to get the results of the tests; it seems they were borderline. Borderline arryhthmia (irregular heartbeat basically). So now I'm wired for sound yet again. This time for 72 hours. So no shower for me until Thursday evening. Pooh eh? Just what you want in the middle of summer! Deep joy.

So that's another department at the hospital that I, a single-handed drain on the NHS, have been to. Over the years, in no particular order,  there's been medical, surgical, eye clinic, gynaecology, obstetrics, peadiatrics, Mental health, Casualty and now Cardiology! Not to mention various minor surgical procedures at NHS outposts in the depths of darkest Park North and the like.

There can't be much left apart from Geriatrics. YET. A few more years and I can add that notch to my belt too. And all with genuine ailments! I'm not one of these people - there's a name for them - that makes up ailments just so they can be seen by doctors and go to hospital. I don't need to!

And my foot still hurts too. But that's another story of another accident - there's a bit of a list of those too. Suffice it to say, I'm one of the few, maybe the ONLY, people to fall INTO a pub. And I know what you are thinking and you can stop it now. I wasn't already dreadfully inebriated. I hadn't been in the place before and so wasn't aware of the treacherous steps down into the place. So down I flew and landed on my arse with my hat askew. Oh how everyone laughed. Oh what a jolly jape it was! Until we saw the blood. 'Nuff said. It was awful and took months to heal and I now bear a lovely big scar right on the front of my left shin. Utterly delightful it is.